What to do to Telemarketers Inuyashastyle
by Gateway2000
Summary: The title is self-explanatory. Telemarketers get on people's nerves (no offense). The Inu cast turned the tables though.
1. Inuyasha

Disclaimer: I don't own. Seriously. I would love to though.  
  
What to do to Telemarketers Inuyasha style

Chapter 1: Inuyasha

The phone rang. Kagome, busy trying to give Buyo a much needed bath, shouted for Inuyasha to get it.

Inuyasha, who was staring at the funny black box with people trapped inside, shouted back. "What?"

"I said, get the phone!"

"What the fuck is a phone?!"

The phone was still ringing.

"The thing the noise is coming out from!"

"The black box?"

"No! The whitish thing with buttons and rectangular!"

"Next to the kitchen door?"

"Yes! Pick it up!"

"It came off the wall! What am I supposed to do with it now?"

"Not the whole box! Just the receiver!"

"Huh?"

"It's a smaller, longer rectangular thing that's on the bigger box."

Inuyasha finally picked up the right thing, and amazingly, the person on the phone was still there.

"Hello, this is AT&T calling about a new plan we have to offer."

"WENCH! This thing is cursed. There's a voice coming out of it...it must be a demon. Can you sense a Shikon shard?"

"It's supposed to do that! It's not a demon! Just tell the person on the line 'hello.'"

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Er, excuse me, sir, but this plan is new and very cheap. Every minute is only..."

"Just talk to it!"

"I'm not going to talk to an inanimate object!"

"Do it already! You won't be talking to an inanimate object! Say 'hello' and ask for their name!"

"Are all you future people so strange, or is it just you?"

"Inuyasha..."

"Fine. Who the fuck are you, demon?"

"I'm not demon, sir! And..." What a rude and primitive person! Who still believed in demons? Who still wouldn't know how to use a telephone! "We have a new telephone plan...,"he tried to repeat, but to no avail.

"Inuyasha!!!! Don't be so rude!"

"What do you mean?"

An angry Kagome appeared in the doorway. She reached out a hand, grabbed one of those poor puppy dog ears, and promptly dragged Inuyasha outside.

"SIT!"

"BITCH!"

"SIT!"  
  
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	2. Miroku and Sango

Disclaimer: Takahashi owns Inuyasha. I don't. Someday I'll get back at those lawyers for making me suffer like this...I'll sue them!

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What to do to Telemarketers- Inuyasha style

Chapter 2: Miroku and Sango

It was a fairly pleasant day. Kagome had convinced Inuyasha that they could take a break, and that no shards would be stolen away by Naraku. Well, she sat him enough times to knock him unconscious, and Miroku and Sango threw him into the well. The entire group opted to spend the vacation in Kagome's time, for both her sake and to satiate their curiosity. Shippou, however, stayed with Kaede for the day, much to his displeasure.

Kagome, having learned from last time, taught them both how to use the phone and that it was not a demon before she dragged Inuyasha out shopping(she did need someone to carry her purchases). And as of the moment, the said phone was ringing.

"Houshi-sama, you get it."

"Alright, dearest Sango."

"And DON'T call me that."

He picked up the phone, and spoke into it like Kagome told him too. It was kind of weird talking to an inanimate object though. "Hello?"

A female voice began speaking. "Hello. I am from Kittens and Rainbows Daycare. We would love to take care of your children-"

"Speaking of children, would you please bear me a child?" Miroku swore that he saw a hand trembling in anger on the sofa arms, but there were more pressing matters at hand.

"We are all responsible adults-"

"Why, beautiful one, of course we are."

"-And the rooms are all perfectly safe for your child! The furniture-"

"You like sex on tables? Well, I'm fine with that." Sango's many attacks to him did a certain amount of brain damage, that was sure. Otherwise, Miroku may have noticed an approaching, ominous figure.

"Our phone number is (555) 642-5555."

"Could you please repeat that so I could write that down?"

"I repeat, (555) 642-5555."

"Thank you, sexy angel."

Sango grabbed the phone from Miroku's hand, and shouted into it, "STAY AWAY FROM HOUSHI-SAMA, YOU HUSSY! You SLUT! What! You bitch! STOP IGNORING ME!"

"Sango-chan, it's a dial tone." Kagome said gently, not wanting to infuriate the girl further.

"So they hung up on me!?!"

"From what I could tell, it was a machine...."

"What?" Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku asked in unison.

"I'll tell you some other time," sighed Kagome.

"It's alright, dearest Sango, if you were jealous, all you had to do was say so. I wouldn't mind giving the other woman up, I don't even know if she's as hot as you are."

"I TOLD you to STOP calling me that! AND YOU'RE SUCH A PERVERT!" She prepared to slap him.

"Well, I'm a pervert that you love, right?"

"I doubt that at this moment, womanizer."

"OUCH! Dearest Sango, that HURT!"

"YOU DESERVE IT! And DON'T CALL ME THAT! If only I had Hiraikotsu with me right now!"

"Eep. Miss Sango...we don't really have to resort to violence, do we?"

"Oh yes we do...."

"I love you?"

"Nice try."

"SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!!!!!"

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A/N: I forgot to disclaim ownership of AT&T last chapter, but I'm doing it now! I don't own AT&T. If I did, there wouldn't be as much telemarketers in existence. I think I'll stick mostly to made up companies from now on...disclaiming sucks. It is a constant reminder of how little power one holds...er, ignore me. Thanks to all those people who reviewed! You all rock!  



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